First published: 20 January 2006
Pairing: John/Jason Mraz
Summary: Jason's thoughts about his fling with John
Review: Would be very appreciated. Thank You Very Much!
Disclaimer: Only the words in the songs are Jason's, and the words written below are mine, and don't really relate to anything Jason meant to say in his song. I don't own Jason nor John. The real Jason Mraz got nothing to do with the blurb written below. It's just another way of interpretting words.
A/N: Okay, here it is. This little blurb mainly exists, because I need to get to know the LiveJournal options a little better before I start full blown posting, and because I was listening Please Don't Tell Her yesterday, and I found the song could just have written for my little slash story I'm writing. It's not very good, because I found Jason pretty much said it all in the song.
Jason Couldn't help hearing people gossiping about John. Secretly, Jason kept himself updated about John's activities, and on how far John was with conquering the world. John's a warrior, Jason already knew he couldn't play John's game, but he had been involved anyway. It all happened shortly and in a hurry. John had taken off before Jason even presented himself at the start. Jason realized he never said to John what he so intently wanted to say, because John never returned to the start where a baffled Jason was still standing.
Jason was alone again; without John. Jason was amazed, still, about how quick things had moved. John had intro-ed himself, he had taken Jason by the hand, and he had lead Jason to the finish where he had let go of Jason's hand to hurry off as quick as he had come. Strangely, after their goodbye, there hadn't been a moment Jason had missed him, even though he had meant to. And now Jason was hiding all past intentions from John; he didn't need to know.
John's most important strength didn't lie in his physics; it was the grip he seemed to be holding the pop music world in. John was standing tall in that world. During what felt like a lifetime to Jason, but had only lasted a few days, Jason took the chance to crawl up to where John was. The view consisted out of possibilities Jason never even dared to dream of. Jason tried a few of those opportunities and possibilities, and it had felt like he had taken a mouth full of air. Jason really enjoyed the view, and the altitude didn't do anything to him either. Unfortunately for Jason, John's lust and interest in Jason faltered quickly, and soon their fling belonged in the past.
The amazement hadn't die away completely yet. It all seemed to have happened within a blink of the eyes.
John didn't need to know Jason had been a bit star struck by his side; he was just crazy like the rest of them. Being without John was good for Jason, cause next to him, Jason seemed to lost touch with the ground to easy. By John's side, Jason seemed to turn into an idiot, acting it out, as if he had to impress John.
Jason had meant to put everything behind him, including John. He realized he hadn't when he read his newest songs about the bitter end and broken eras. Jason promised John not to put their fling in a song, but fact was: Jason only tried to work things out, and the rest was sure to make him feel a little better about himself again. The failing of something more than just a fling wasn't only John's fault, but Jason was to blame as well; the reverse Psychology.
Maybe Jason had taken too many opportunities. Maybe he had drawn more attention to himself than John had liked him to. Or maybe John had even encouraged Jason to do all he did. John didn't need to know Jason didn't really regret anything of what he did. Not the taken opportunities, not the exploring of the possibilities, and not the attention Jason had drawn because of his little fling with John. Neither did Jason mean to blame John; John didn't need to feel guilty.
Everybody who caught a little sight of what happened, promised Jason not to say a word to John about it. Jason knew though, John probably already knew. Jason wasn't sure. Maybe he shouldn't be amazed, but he was, about how self-assured John was. Jason knew how proud John could be, and he knew John would hate him if he knew Jason's words, cause Jason didn't hurt anymore.